Vol 3 Section 0690

632                                                                        1902

I recognize that Chapter X. of “Captain Jinks” is a successful satire on General Funston—at least almost a successful one. No satire of Funston could reach perfection, because Funston occupies that summit himself, and all other applicants must be content with a stage below. In his own person Funston is a satire incarnated, and exhaustively comprehensive: he is a satire on the human race. He has made the whole race of man ridiculous, including our Government—which has made him a Brigadier General in the regular army, after loftily refusing that very position to a worthier man in civil life at Sing Sing who had nothing against him except that he had robbed a church and skinned his grandmother—improprieties which would really amount to ameliorating decorations for a person under the blight of Funston’s mephitic record.

Mark Twain

Private. Will the above do? Yes, use anything I said about Beard’s pictures.

Sincerely Yours, S. L. Clemens. I wrote a short article about Funston last night for the May North American.

Note: In Dec. 1901 Daniel Carter Beard asked Twain if he would review Captain Jinks by Ernest Howard Crosby. Beard illustrated the book. This paragraph may be the result, and if so, the letter may be to Crosby. See Dec. 11, 1901 entry.

February 24 MondayIn Riverdale, N.Y. Sam wrote again to Rev. L.M. Powers of Haverhill, Mass.

Thank you very much. I have ordered 500 Porto Rico cigars—$4.50 per 100—a breed which I have been experimenting with.

I enclose the Express receipt, which was not delivered to me until this morning. Those express people will bear watching, & I lately had reason to be glad I had a receipt to confront them with when they had done some mislaying [MTP]. Note: see Feb. 19 to Powers.

February 25 TuesdaySam’s notebook: “The Mayor’s dinner to H.R.H. Prince Henry of Prussia / Metropolitan

Club 6.30. Train 5.24—arr 5.55” [NB 45 TS 4]. Note: the dinner was Feb. 26. See entry.

The Mayor’s dinner as listed above (Seth Lowe) was held at the Metropolitan Club on Feb. 25 for Prince Henry of Prussia (1862-1929; born Albert Wilhelm Heinrich), the third of eight children born to Crown Prince Frederick (who became Emperor Frederick III) and Victoria, Princess Royal of the United Kingdom (who became Empress Victoria, then Empress Frederick in widowhood); she was a daughter of Queen Victoria. Henry made this trip to the US and won a favorable impression from the American press as well as the American-German population. His purpose for making the trip was to launch the Kaiser’s yacht Meteor off Staten Island. The yacht was American built, and it was launched this day by Miss Alice Roosevelt, daughter of the President. The program seating chart for the banquet identified 100 honored guests, including “Samuel J. Clemens” [sic]. It is not known if Clemens offered a speech.

February 26 WednesdayIn Riverdale, N.Y. Sam wrote to George B. Harvey.

From a competent source I have an offer for the Newbegin contract (which I now control) of $250,000 guaranty for 5 years: $100,000 to be cash in advance to cover the first two years. Naturally I wish the offer had come from you. I cannot know if you would care to duplicate it, but you will tell me as to that; & it will be a favor to me if you will tell me as quickly as you conveniently can [MTP]. Note: See Feb. 15.

Sam’s notebook: “Staats Zeitung. dinner to the Pirnce / Waldorf-Astor—8.30 Shall take the 7.27 & arr.

7.55” [NB 45 TS 4]. Note: see also Feb. 25 entry.

In the evening Clemens went to the Waldorf-Astoria, where a banquet was given to the U.S. press by the New York Staats-Zeitung in honor of Prince Henry of Prussia. The event was the largest gathering of

SLC used mourning border for most letters from Susy’s death on, then from Livy’s death on.